We so often talk about how people MAKE us feel. The funny thing is, the same thing that MADE you mad, sad, happy, or any other emotion may not MAKE the person that sits next to you at a movie theater feel the same way. The key is that no one makes us feel anything. We react to situations, words, people, and everything in our world based on things we’ve experienced in our life. When we remember this, it creates an awareness. And with awareness comes choice. That’s right. Choice. How does this tie into the Relationship Language tool of “Speaking IN Ownership”?
When we communicate how we feel in response to someones words or actions (or sometimes the lack of them) we have the ability to own how we feel and no longer give someone power over our emotions. For example…let’s say that your boyfriend says “I really don’t like spaghetti…Why are we eating this again??” as he tastes the meal you just spent your very valuable time and energy preparing for the two of you. You might feel some sadness come up…probably lots of anger. YES! You feel angry and you have every right to feel it! Now, you have an opportunity to Speak IN Ownership and share how you feel in response to what he just said. See “Speaking IN Ownership Examples” for more info on what not to say and what to say.
Speaking IN Ownership of your emotions empowers you to stay in a space of CHOICE. OWN your power and you do that through living in awareness and knowing you have a choice in how you respond to anything and everything you experience in your world. You can’t control anyone else but you have full control of how YOU show up in the world.
Love you to pieces and stop by again soon for more Relation Language topics!